Expensive Diamond Necklace
Q." Does anyone else notice that 95% of women seem to define romanticism largely in terms of goods or services given to them by a man? This is a lot more true of sorority-girl types than goth girls, but some amount of that attitude seems commonplace everywhere." I see what you mean in terms of how most girls/women/chicks define romanticism. I have a friend, who for her 18th birthday got a gold ankel bracelet from her b/f. The only thing she said about it the whole night was, "Look isn't it cool, It cost $130." I tried to explain to her how bad it sounded but she didn't get it. And most sorority girls seem to give off the impression that if their b/f buys them expensive things they must be romantic....even if they beat them or have sex with three of their g/f's friends.
A.How many movies, tv shows, commercials etc have you seen that portray a romantic evening as about flying off in a private jet to have dinner in the finest reataurant, drinking the finest wine, being given a diamond necklace, making love on a private yacht etc etc. The message seems to be that romance is about money, or in particular being rich. i tend to think it's just part of that self-serving thing where they consciously try to make you feel inferior because you can never be as good or as romantic (read 'rich') as these people, so you keep watching to dream of the things you can never be or have. Plus there's the advertising rub as well. How much money does a company like DeBeers spend to convince people that expensive diamond gifts are what romance is all about. My girlfriend works in diamond ring retail, and i see a lot of the material that comes out saying, not in so many words, how expensive the diamond is is how much he loves you and if it doesn't cost thousands, he doesn't really love you. i've known so many people who are barely able to make ends meet, yet they feel they have to buy an expensive engagement ring so their relationship can be 'real'. And weddings are the same. Everything about a modern wedding seems to be geared around expensive displays of wealth. i alsways ask what the fuck has getting dressed up in a tuxedo and driving about in limousines (ie pretending to be rich) got to do with loving someone and wanting to be ceremonially joined to them? i see people get into debt to have a wedding that says nothing about who they are as people and it makes me sad. And angry. i always thought romance was better expressed by something like that old Ramones sond "oh oh, i love her so", you know, just kids hanging out, doing ordinary things and loving being in each other's company. It's always refreshing to see romance portrayed this way.
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