Cheap Man Jewelry
Q.A woman wrote in and asked for opinions. She is dating a man, has been for 2 years - man has nice job, own home, car, etc. Not hurting for money at all. Anyway, they're walking through Wal-Mart and pass a display of rings. Costume jewelry, but they're pretty . She finds one she really likes, but doesn't buy it and they keep going. Flash forward one month - romantic dinner, boyfriend gets down on one knee and holds out a ring box. Asks her to marry him and when she says yes, he puts the ring on her finger. The $9 Wal-Mart ring... She figures okay, it's just a 'starter' ring - they'll go pick out the 'real' one later. This has been 2 months ago - no mention of exchanging the ring for one with a real stone, and he's already picked out the wedding rings. So - what do you think? Should she mention it? Should she worry that her man is getting cheap on her? Should she just keep her mouth shut?
A.My first idea was that the man may have thought he was doing a romantic thing - after all he noticed & remembered which ring she 'really liked' . As for not exchanging it, I doubt it has even entered his mind that she may be unhappy with a 'cheap' ring if in his mind it's associated with a romantic gesture. After all, it's not like he didn't spring for 'real' wedding rings. If he was getting cheap on her, I'd think there would be more of a pattern of cheapness - with all items/purchases, not just suddenly over one thing. If that is the case (she's been noticing a pattern of 'cheapness'), then if they've been dating for 2 years, she should be comfortable enough to ask about the seeming 'cheapness' pattern - or if that's not the case, just asking (nicely and openmindedly) him why he happened to choose that ring as the engagement ring. Being quiet about it and imagining all sorts of scenarios is not going to help and probably will lead to all sorts of misunderstandings now and in the future. My brother gave his future-wife a 'bubble-gum-machine' ring (although he did spend $5.00 trying to get the 'right' color ring *G*) - but that was because he knew just how particular she was with jewelry and that there was no way in hell he would get it right. They went together later to let her pick out a style she liked.
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