Man's engagement ring--which hand?
Q.I am a recently engaged man... My fiancee and I decided that it would be good and appropriate if we both got engagement rings. The big question is: which hand do I wear it on? I've got an engagement band (titanium, with a Celtic knot engraving) that'll make it look like I'm already married if I wear it on the left ring finger, and if I wear it on the right... Doesn't that usually symbolize widower status? Has anyone heard of any customs/traditions regarding the man's engagement ring?
A.My husband wore his on his left ring finger. (He called it his "training ring" ;-) because he really did need to just get used to wearing one all the time.) It was a simple band -- silver rather than gold, but I imagine that someone who didn't know might assume he was married, but so what? The only man I ever knew who wore a wedding ring on his right ring finger was German. Apparently in Germany the custom is for both men and women to wear their ring on the left during their engagement and move it to the right at the wedding. Who knew? Anyway, I've never heard of a right-hand ring meaning the wearer is a widower. Even if it does, so what? Those who know you will know what it means to you, and it doesn't matter what those who don't know you think. Wear it wherever you're most comfortable with it. One consideration is, what do you plan to do with it after you have a wedding ring? If you don't plan to get a second ring, perhaps wearing it on a different finger now and moving it to the "wedding ring finger" after you're married will be symbolically important to you. If you will get a second ring designed to fit together with the engagement ring, it's probably best to go ahead and wear the engagement ring on your left now. If you'll get a different wedding ring and thereafter either won't wear the engagement ring regularly or won't wear it on the same finger, you could go either way -- switching it off the left hand during the wedding ceremony might be nice, but wearing it on the right to start means you won't have to readjust to the way it fits and feels later. I think its wonderful that you've made this decision to publically show your engagement this way. My finace also wanted an engagement ring as he said that he was proud to be marrying me and wanted everyone to be able to see that. The ring we chose was originally a New Zealand (my country) half crown coin from 1934 with King George V (his country) on the inscription. The inscription reads on the inside of the band and looks like a normal silver ring on the outside. We just stumbled across the guy who makes them by accident and thought it was a beautiful way of symbolising our relationship. He wears it on his left ring finger, and says that he doesn't mind if people who don't know us think that he's already married. We haven't yet decided what to do with the ring when we get married. Unfortunately it doesn't fit on any of his other fingers and it can't be sized up or down. I say to go with what your heart says. If you feel comfortable with people thinking that you are already married then wear it on your left ring finger, you can always transfer it to your right hand before the ceremony. As to wearing it on your right ring finger, I've never heard that as denoting a widower in either England or New Zealand so if that makes you feel more comfortable then go with it.
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